Return

Return. Im back in Cali. And I have realized just how different my life is. It's like I live in 2 worlds. College is the place to start anew and afresh...make a new image for yourself....however...



What if you don't want to start anew...Not to say that people didn't like me in college....but it wasn't the same...not nearly...Simply because I wasn't the same person as I was before...People in college didn't grow up with me, they didn't see me pre-senior year. It is so freaking frustating. To know you're limited by something beyond your control...that you no longer can be good at everything.

People in California they love me and respect me for good reason. It's like adoration....people joke about me having fans. People in college... none of that really happens.... for good reason. I'm no longer the person I used to be. Hell now I get pissed when people in college call me a role model and look up to me. I'm a shell of my former self.

Respect happens in many different ways. The one that you get when you're genuine compassionate and nice...that helps people like you....The one you get when you're good at everything....that makes people admire you and follow you...


I come back and the things I say matter again. I'm wanted and important again. And that's y I love Cali.....Spring break I call home and ask people what did they do....everybody goes...not really anything... things are awkward....they all hangout with ppl in college more than in hs. I come back don't ever see each other....I make a few phone calls...and people are back together and we're having the time of our lives. I guess I miss being looked up to. Miss being absolutely respected. I failed in college. Mmmmm more like FAILED...........It will not happen again.