http://www.cholinergicurticaria.net/forum/index.php?topic=1298.0
Intresting to think that one of the greatest men in history may have suffered the same way I had. I used to think CU taught me to treasure life and the experiences that come with it. How to not take simple things like walking and readng a book for granted. How to watch an exciting movie and hold an emotional conversation without wishing it hadn't happened in the first place.
Yet. I now also realize it's made me afraid. It's capped me as a person. Made me afraid to push my limits. Made me afraid of going though more hardship. Made me afraid of pain. Most importantly I think.... made me afraid of failure. How many times did I run with no avail yet always with the firey consequence. I'm afraid of trying and trying like I did before and have it all be useless.
Yet. I am better now. Time to fight it some more. But most importantly time to fight in my life.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
The voices
As that voice pounds hammer and anvil against my heart making me doubt my existence in this world. Each pound dragging my beating pulse to the cold depths of the Mariana trench. Urging me to feel worthless and utterly useless in this world. I succumbed and agreed. Yet for all the sly trickery and smooth words that the Devil might employ. It cannot take away truths. And that is this world does not matter. I was meant for another one. God loves me and has already made the ultimate sacrifice for me. I sing Hallelujah to you who is not my friend and smile. All is well. :)
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Life is Beautiful
This song just moved to the top of my favories list of all my songs, bumping off Something Beautiful by Newsboys. Never in my life has something like this occured before because I get really attached to things. If I love something there's usually a very strong reason behind it, let alone if it's my absolute favorite.
Yet. Everything about this song is perfect. The background music... the slow buildup to a rising climax. I LOVE combined voices singing like what happens at the end. But especially the lyrics. It is my life. ALL of it, but especially this part.
Life is beautiful
But it's complicated, we barely make it
We don't need to understand
There are miracles, miracles
Today is a big day for me. Possibly another one of those biggest of my life days. And yet I won't know the result of it for I don't even know how long. But that's ok. My life. I don't UNDERSTAND it. It is so incredibly unbelievably frustrating the amount of shit that can happen. Over and over again without fail. Each one growing bigger than the last. It is so COMPLICATED. And I BARELY make it. Yet. I do. Because there are MIRACLES. Despite everything...LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.
There is SO MUCH to live for in this world. The people around you, the experiences, memories, and photos we all share. The exquiste taste of food, the touch of someone you care about, the smell of rain, the beauty of nature, the chatter of your friends.
So no matter what happens. Whether I laugh in joy, or I cry in sadness, I realize it's only a part of my life. And there's the rest of my life waiting for me. Right here, right now. And even more splendid, as wonderful as this world is. It is but a SPECK of what is waiting for us in heaven. A minor blip compared to the riches and beauty that we will experience. How can we not rejoice in happiness and excitement! La vida es bella. :)
3 verses pop to my mind today.
First, love and enjoy the world because it is God's creation to us.
John 1:3
Second, enjoy the world but do not put anything above our Lord.
1 John 2: 15-17.
Third, this is what true love should be.
1 John 4:18
Yet. Everything about this song is perfect. The background music... the slow buildup to a rising climax. I LOVE combined voices singing like what happens at the end. But especially the lyrics. It is my life. ALL of it, but especially this part.
Life is beautiful
But it's complicated, we barely make it
We don't need to understand
There are miracles, miracles
Today is a big day for me. Possibly another one of those biggest of my life days. And yet I won't know the result of it for I don't even know how long. But that's ok. My life. I don't UNDERSTAND it. It is so incredibly unbelievably frustrating the amount of shit that can happen. Over and over again without fail. Each one growing bigger than the last. It is so COMPLICATED. And I BARELY make it. Yet. I do. Because there are MIRACLES. Despite everything...LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.
There is SO MUCH to live for in this world. The people around you, the experiences, memories, and photos we all share. The exquiste taste of food, the touch of someone you care about, the smell of rain, the beauty of nature, the chatter of your friends.
So no matter what happens. Whether I laugh in joy, or I cry in sadness, I realize it's only a part of my life. And there's the rest of my life waiting for me. Right here, right now. And even more splendid, as wonderful as this world is. It is but a SPECK of what is waiting for us in heaven. A minor blip compared to the riches and beauty that we will experience. How can we not rejoice in happiness and excitement! La vida es bella. :)
3 verses pop to my mind today.
First, love and enjoy the world because it is God's creation to us.
John 1:3
Second, enjoy the world but do not put anything above our Lord.
1 John 2: 15-17.
Third, this is what true love should be.
1 John 4:18
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The Sun's Been Kind
Wow. God takes away. But then God also provides. Always. He's always there no matter what.
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. -1 John 4: 7-12
What FAITH can do!
Love is Here :)
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. -1 John 4: 7-12
What FAITH can do!
Love is Here :)
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Weight
Once it was only carried by one.
Then many.
Distribution means more effected.
Man up boy. Time to go back to one.
Then many.
Distribution means more effected.
Man up boy. Time to go back to one.
Friday, December 18, 2009
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